We recently celebrated our little girl’s exciting, fun-filled, brimming with love, and more-than-just-sometimes impish three years of life. Being a mother, there are a hundred of motherhoods (motherhood statements, that is) I can say from A to Z. But reflecting on how the past three years has been to us, as mother and daughter, I realized that in her I found one of my best travel buddies in the second half of my journey called life.
Naturally, it hasn’t been fun and loving and jolly all the time. Just like most working moms, I’ve had to deal, and to continue to do so, with the guilt, sadness and heartbreak when leaving behind my little rascal to travel for work, when rushing to the door in the morning to leave as she cries and asks me to lie next to her in bed and put her back to sleep, when spending nights in a hotel room hundreds or thousands of miles away yearning for my girl’s hugs and I love yous as she kisses me good night. And of course, I’ve also had my share of exasperation and sometimes exhaustion dealing with the “pains” of a growing kid, especially that “terrible two” stage (though I really can’t complain knowing what my friends and sisters with male toddlers have had to go through).
But my biggest realization so far of how motherhood has rocked my world is that I’m no longer alone in times I need to find loads more of strength and reason. Of course, I have someone to share the joys and fun of everyday. But it’s in the less joyful moments that she has made more impact on her momma, that I’ve appreciated more having her in my life, young and clueless she maybe.
More than a source of fun, delight and inspiration, my little one has been a well of greater strength for me. Simply hugging or having her in my arms could help sustain me through a difficult, worrying or stressful situation, though she could leave my knees wobbling too from carrying her, given her being on the heavy side of the weighing scale
It is in moments when she helps prop me up without her doing anything (well, sometimes she pats my back when I hug her tight) or saying anything (though yesterday, after I let out some sermon to her dad over something, she held my hand, looked at me so lovingly and calmly said, “Mama, don’t be angry.”) that I realize the things I’m forgetting to get hold of, or what I had thoughtlessly thrown into air because of stress, panic, etc. And it is in those moments when I’m reminded to have more of the things that could help me go through critical or tough situations gracefully: more patience, calm, open mind, understanding, and introspection.
Having her in my life, I’ve come to have a constant reminder that it is in the simplicity of everyday it is best to find joy, fun, comfort, serenity and even sanity. Every end of the day when I go home to her is a lesson of how many things and aspects of daily life are but a means to something greater, of how many things are but chaff meant to be separated from the grain.
For that, I’m forever grateful to my beautiful and smart rascal – my bibo, my bebe, my babe, my palangga.
Filed in: motherhood